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Deviant for 3 Years
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the world is such a big Thing
with people scuttling everywhere
around and around
(and yet I could take it between my forefinger and thumb like a marble if it would help me get to you).

my own world consists of cities with nonsense names and
the same clusters of people
and pretty Words
tripping over themselves to make it off my tongue
which makes them not so pretty anymore.
(but on a keyboard no one can see my words falling, only the product of my thoughts and the words' beautiful rest).

and i suppose there are lots of metaphors
i could use, lots of inanimate objects to liken myself to
but i am not eloquent enough for such things. so you must understand
others see the part of me i masquerade as. they think
they know my whole world, the marble size of it, the whole sentence.
(what they don't understand is that sometimes the best things come in parentheses hidden away, and that really, with you in it, this entire world is only a marble, and I'm already holding it in my hands).


ArtGirl810 has started a donation pool!
50 / 2,367
I would really like to earn enough for a premium. I want to be able to request critiques so I can become a better photographer, as well as set up polls to ask questions. I would also like to start my own photography group, but I already have 3.
If you could or would be willing to donate any spare points, I would be eternally grateful!

By the way, since I can't sell prints right now, does anyone know of a simple, but creative way to do photography commisions?

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Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
United States
Hi I'm Alison and I don't know what to write. I'm not particularly talented when it comes to art and writing, so I don't really know what I'm doing here anymore. Probably only for my really great internet friends! I <3 you guys.
I'm trying something new today. I've changed a lot since I started this account, and a lot of what I've said and done here is still 12 year old me. I want to keep the few friends who are still here, but I also want to start over. I know all I've done recently is come here to write a journal about how miserable I am, and make you all worry. You've all been so, so kind, and written me these wonderful long messages that did wonders for my self esteem. But the side of me that everyone here knows is still the secretive 12 year old me, I think. The one who was sad for no reason and expected support without anything else. I've considered you all friends for so long, even if we haven't spoken in a while. So to those of you who I care about, and I hope are willing to let me start over, I'm going to tell you a few things. 

Dear :iconpineapplepieprincess: :iconangelofastar: :iconumbravgg: :icondragongirl787: :iconkyuutenheki: :iconkaisishu: and anyone else I used to talk to frequently, 

My name is Alison and I would love to start over. I'm not completely done growing up yet, but I am a very different person than I used to be. I still can't promise that I will reply within a reasonable amount of time, because I'm forgetful and admittedly, a bit too lazy for my own good. But I will try to be a better friend, whether or not I'm always here to comment on things or not. I realize that I never really told anyone anything about me, so I guess now is as good a time as any for an introduction. I'm 15 and a half years old (the half is important because I'm learning how to drive). I have a lot of issues that I'm trying to work through, and one of those happens to be a damaging relationship with my family. All you really need to know is that my cousin, who is the same age as me, is a spoiled brat, and also smarter than me. So while I've learned to work for what I want, she's handed whatever she wants, and yet they've made me out to be the bitchy one. They've pretty much denounced me, and I wouldn't have anything to do with them. That's been a block in my head for as long as I can remember, the constant competition to see which of the girls is better, and it never seems to be me. That's left me with the feeling I'm never going to be good enough, and that I don't deserve to be loved. But I'm working around it. Trust me, this letter is not a pity party, I don't want you to be sad for me. 

Other than that, I guess I'm pretty happy. I still feel like my mood swings are more abnormal than a teenagers' are supposed to be, but I've also determined that self diagnosis gets you nowhere, especially when no one will listen to you. I've had lots of issues with friends in the past, but I think for the time being I've found myself a pretty good bunch, and I'm not worried, assuming my support system here remains intact. 

Ive never met anyone with the same wanderlust as me. I have this gut feeling that I won't be happy if I can't see as much of this world as possible. Everywhere seems beautiful and mystical to me, except my home, of course. I have no idea what to do with my life, but I feel like things will fall into place. If not, I'm sure I'll have friends kind enough to let me crash with them XD 

I have these bursts of inspiration, where I feel like I can paint the entirety of the sky and contain it in a sketchbook, and when I can't, I crash hard. I won't pick a sketchbook up again for months, but I'm used to the process at this point. I know that when I finally find something I'm good at, the feeling of not crashing will overpower any previous failures. Sometimes I try to write, but I read so much beautiful poetry here, and then I read what I wrote and it discourages me. I feel closer to something great with poetry than I do with drawing though. I think if I work at it I'll find the perfect thing to write about and everything will click. 

I promised sed this wouldn't be a pity party, so I'll tell you some more happy things too, because all that background "getting to know me" blah sounds a bit saddening. I'm a teenage girl who gets waaaay too invested in fandoms. I prefer living in fictional worlds. I love the Avengers, Doctor Who, Spider-Man, and just about all the popular book fandoms too. I'll listen to lots of music, but alternative and indie are my genres of choice. Green Day is still my favorite band, with Nada Surf and Bastille close behind. I'm actually going to see Bastille in October and it'll be my first concert. I love pictures, and I could explain my whole thing about memories trapped forever in a single flimsy rectangle, but it'll make me sound sappy. A guilty pleasure of mine is following the fashion trends. Not to any extremes, but yes, I do own crop tops and high waisted shorts, and no, I am not ashamed. I like being able to feel pretty, and there's nothing wrong with that. I do think I'm pretty, at times. It's a good thing to be able to say. My self consciousness is more about not feeling smart enough or funny enough or interesting enough. At times I feel like I need to lose weight and wear more makeup, and have better skin, but all in all, I'm pretty okay with how I look, and it's quite an accomplishment in this generation. Another guilty pleasure of mine is reading those unrealistic teen romance novels. They're cute, okay. I'm very asexual myself, and I don't desire an intimate physical relationship at all, but I'm curious, and I'd like to know what it feels like to be in love, and to have someone be in love with me. Just to have someone to watch movies all night with, or to spend all night wandering around town with. And hey, if he has an attractive face, who am I to complain. 

I guess, if you didn't read all of this I don't blame you. Who knows how long it's even going to be before I reply to anyone's comments. I just felt like I owed you all that much. For all the shit I've complained about, there's what you need to know about who I actually am. Right now, I am happy. And I am writing a journal about me being happy for once and it's a good feeling. If we can all just start again, that would be really great. Tell me about yourself. Tell me all the little things that make you who you are, and pretend I'm a stranger you met in a coffeeshop just a little bit too late at night. The time of night where the darkness feels like a blanket and everything you whisper underneath its cover will stay hidden there. Introduce yourself again, if not anything more. Don't feel obligated to comment on my story. Tell me your own instead. For once, I want to be the one to listen. 

Much love, 
~<3~ Alison 

Journal History

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Pineapplepieprincess Featured By Owner May 14, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
I hope you come online sometime soon because I really miss you!
DrippingWords Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2014  Student Writer
:huggle: Thank you so much for the fave(s)! :huggle:
Lady-Yume Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2014   Writer
Thank you for reading my work and adding it to your +favourites! :heart:
LadyLincoln Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you for :+fav:ing, dearheart! :heart:
DylanSeto Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2014  Student Artist



Just wanted to thank you for the fave!


Also, since I'm currently focusing on music, I was wondering if you'd be interested in following that endeavour?


If you are, I can link you to where you can find that stuff! 

Pineapplepieprincess Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIS! :iconhappybirthdayplz:
SilverInkblot Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you for the faves :D
KaisiShu Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2013

Spread the DA love around! (you can copy and paste this message on their userpage!)

1- You can hug the person who hugged you!
2- You -MUST- hug 6 other people, at least!
3- You should hug them in public! Paste it on their user page!
4- Random hugs are perfectly okay! (and sweet)
5- You should most definitely get started hugging right away!

Send This To All Your Friends, And Me If I Am one. :) (Smile) 
If You Get 7 Back You Are Loved!

1-3 you're a bad friend
4-6 you're an ok friend
7-9 you're a good friend
10-& Up you're a great friend 
angelgirlsko12 Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for the fave :squee:
DragonGirl787 Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
Hope you have an amazing birthday! :D
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